February 2012
19 posts
Seriously considering quitting Honours.
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Its you.
Only you.
Always you.
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“At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be...”
– Grey’s Anatomy (via katelizabeth)
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Please come and find me, my love.
I’m ready now to come home.
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I’m so lucky to have witnessed real love in the form of my parents. So lucky.
Thirty years they’ve been together, 25 they’ve been married, and they still absolutely adore each other.
Mum has told me stories of when my Dad was courting her, and how much of a gentleman he was. How he would spoil her with small, thoughtful and heartfelt gifts and treat her like a princess. How...
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I feel like giving up.
I just want someone to talk to.
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"You'll be surprised with how much inner strength...
I don’t think you ever stop needing your Mum.
All I want right now is for her to hold me and let me cry, and to tell me everything will be okay. To fix my pain. She’s always been able to do that. And this is the worst pain I have ever felt. But I can’t tell her about it.
And in 5 days I’m going to have to leave her again. I’m going to have to leave everyone. And...
I need to be stronger. Right? Or… is it just that… no.
No.
I do need to be stronger.
January 2012
51 posts
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“In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next...”
– Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919)
What the fuck is wrong with people these days.
You don’t sleep around when you’re in a relationship. You don’t think about it, you don’t put yourself in a situation where you could do it. You just don’t.
And if you feel like you can’t control yourself, get out of the relationship first.
And if someone is in a relationship, respect that, you selfish fuck.
...
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I wish you could understand this. What it does to me.
I wish you could feel how I feel every time you tell me you’ve been sitting in that room.
I’m so fucking tired of feeling this way. Every fucking day.
I just want it to end.
I just want this to stop. When will it stop?
Damnit, I miss you already.
I’ve been trying to find some sort of quick fix or fast healing gimmick, even though I know there is no such thing. I’d like to believe, though.
The same way I figure someone must have invented a time machine by now. Right? Come on, put up your hand. Please?
The awkward moment when you realise no-one needs you.
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And there was a little reminder for me to be good to good people, because I refuse to believe that horrible people always win.
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The events of the past week have led to a few things.
First, I have learnt that I am a bit psychotic, but I don’t mind. I see it as a sign of being alive, of feeling. Although I suppose at the time I had lost sight of everything and was quite likely to do something stupid.
Second, I have learnt just how literal the term “heart break” is.
Third, I have realised that I need to...
I think its time to try and get more Lene Marlin records.
Where the fuck are all the blades
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I don’t ever want to enter that room again.
Or lay on a couch.
And, as ridiculous as it sounds, I hate the thought of you being in that room. Even if its just for a little while.
I’d like to burn it down.
I wonder how long before I stop feeling sick most of the time.